The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: HOOD EDITION

 AH..the year was 2008...T.I had just dropped paper trail and Lil wayne dropped the carter 3....good times....Brad Pitt and Taranji P .Hendeson had just dropped a gem :the Curious case of Benjamin Button.....a weird movie about a man who was aging backwards so to say.joe buddden even dropped a killer bar..."im on my grind benjamin hunting,been old since i was young call me benjamin button"....bars right....if youre from where im from and the time period i rep...you know what it means to have to be old at such a young age...my brother and i were working by age 17,providing on the low by 18....dating ,chilling,and spending crazy dough by 20.Nas once said "since age 16 i havent grown a day old"...thats how i feel sometimes....didnt go to uni or college as a teen ,didnt travel the world,didnt take a year of to take a sabatical ....just 16,fresh out of school and placed on the street as a hustler.i always say i am a Product Of My Environment aka hustlers P.O.M.E.i also was always in a serious relationship with ...you know who....so i didnt get to play around....(note now i am divorced and grown..i had my ka little run,but im not the playful type and actual prefer being in a real situationship)...i digress....but heres the deal....i never had the chance to be young...i was always required to be old....so....now that im old... i just wanna be you,does that make sense?

  so........10 years later....here i am ....leroy freaking banda ...the brown hornet...dot b...the one who has has the vision....lol.

a lot has happened in 10 years...jamals grown....im divorced....single....but madly in love.stronger,faster,bigger,wiser,smarter......less involved...what would be the perfect comeback topic...

love...overrated...hate...never given enough attention...loyalty....my fam still strong and deep....lust....im a lusaka boy lol....but....individualism... the ability to be yourself....

feeling like a mac..in a room....surrounded by some pcs (lol)....i haave learnt a few things in the past decade.

1.it doesnt matter

2.even if it does,it only matters to you.

3.and if it does... make it happen.

i have successfully ,even in my struggles,raised a special needs child.....

i did what wasnt expected of me...a drunk....a junkie.... a black sheep... a failure....but...i still did it...amd did it well....God creates people like me every 1000 years or so... and he created a fther and son combo so extreme...we didnt know how to deal with it.jamal...thats my motivation.

so until next time,weather its next week or in 10 years......we did it...we survived.

WOLVES IN SHEEP CLOTHING

its been like forever since I last posted but hey, I have been mad busy.I am officially one of the hardest working guys I know and its should show right I mean what’s the point of all the hard work if you cant enjoy the fruits of ones own labor. I guess it does though I mean I got my own pad, planning on getting married to my dream gal,got some toys to play with too.but my toys aren’t just for playing with I use my computers/laptops/hard disks and phones for generating an income for me and my fam.anyone who knows me knows that.I recently took my 2 buddies , one I considered really close, to see my son for the first time. on my way there I needed to get teething powder for my son and other stuff. now bear in mind we were from town where I was with my hard disks grinding and when then need for the baby stuff to be purchased we were still together so they could pin point where every last kwacha I had came from.fast forward a few hours we were drinking and chilling and just hanging around. we later go to my crib to crash but the 1 guy (lets call him voldermort, for he whose name shall not be mentioned) decided to go back and party more.
fast forward to the next morning , as I’m escorting my other homie home we see voldermort walking down the road to my home DRUNK AS A SKUNK  (drunk as a skunk lol I’m really killing myself with these INSIDE jokes)now dude 2 is still pissed with voldermort so he aint to welcoming and all but we dap and I head back home with V and watch scopes and shows on my lappy and hard disks after going for some more dopes at big brother to calm his shit down. I aint gonna go into anymore details but a few hours later my man V STOLE MY TOYS.the very toys we where watching shit from, the very toys he see’s me move around with everyday on the grind, the very toys I use to support my kid…..MY LIVELIHOOD TO SUSTAIN MY FAMILY.
I aint gonna say much on the issue but it was a deep OMG moment for me as I sat back the next day thinking of all the time we chilled, drank,smoked,fought, advised , laughed and even mourned together.but through all that I remembered all the times he stole from me and others and what I had to go through to get back up.sometimes in life we don’t move forward because we hold onto friendships that are really destructive and non beneficial and despite the good times we need to grow up and move forward to attain and achieve our goals. ever since that  day V for vendetta (yes because a person so bent on doing things like this against you continuously until it reaches a point of robbing you at the crib must have a vendetta against you. note vendetta:an often prolonged series of retaliatory, vengeful, or hostile acts or exchange of such acts)+back to topic+ opened my eyes to the world with his act I have changed my view on a lot of things and my idea of friendship and people who should be deserving of calling “friend” ,so my advice
CAREFUL WITH THE FLOCK YOU CHOOSE BECAUSE ITS POSSIBLE YOU MIGHT BE AROUND A WOLF IN SHEEP’S CLOTHING.
ps: I seem like an easy target to most but my lady knows that beneath all the exterior (sheep) is a lot of buried issues and lives a rabbid wolf…but that’s for another topic on how being a “nice” person doesn’t necessarily make you a nice person.lol

thoughtsofapredicatehustler

7-7-2012/PARENTHOOD(the nail pin event) TOPIC

the realization that every breath you take is for you and others too...... that's parenthood for you.
anybody who has or had a kid or kids and is in their right state of mind knows  what im talking bout.i mean you can have 5 kids but there is only one first time.
7/7/2012 around 22:45 sibeso nawa ,known to others as bluberri hornet, referred to by me as "my khaleesi" gave birth to a boy, our son JAMAL YAMIKANI BANDA .now i aint gonna front i was in Chicago's downing whiskey shots and lagers with my homie, so im not gonna be all "i was there through it all" heck i only heard bout it the next day as my phone was off.+i think im drifting here back to the topic+
when you have your first kid your own childhood flashes right before your eyes , the highs the lows , the ups and downs and you like automatically download all the actions, re-actions, words and all that you remember seeing , hearing and feeling from your parents because parenthood doesn't have a manual or an 8 easy steps e-book. all we have is what we learnt from our parents which then allow us to say "imma be such and such a parent and do things like pops but matters of such imma re-act differently"+back to the topic+
parenthood also comes with life changes , like "maybe let me just get a six pack and chill at the crib instead of hitting the clubs tonight coz tomorrow i gotta get some diapers" . i also got something outta the season finale for how i met your mother from Marshal and Lilly , after the have a lil boy.
DO NOT APPROACH ME WITH ANY STORY, EVENT , SITUATION THAT'S NOT A 7 OR ABOVE!!!! i mean i have a whole other life i am in charge of for now at least so i cannot you energy time and concentration on trivial shit .

now people ask why Jamal yamikani and well its what me and his mom cam up with. the first time i saw lil yamjam i could see Lukas , i mean dude looked like lukey for real and people always ask why didn't you name him after lukas and let me just say as much as i would have loved to i don't believe in naming kids after other people and family members for one simple reason, i wont my child to be an individual with his own path to set and not a reflection of peoples memories and emotions. every time he/she does something sembe kwenze "moonga chabe bena ba zena"or" anapala che (put name here) but that's how he/she was/is . besides it not secret THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE LUKAS "LUKASTAR" BANDA +back to topic+

i never ever saw myself as a father.i never imagined that me and sibeso would ever be these people. i never ever imagine my family seeing me as a mature , responsible adult. and the twist t all this is now that things are the way i am i never saw myself wanting this life so so much.iam so happy to be a father , a future husband to the woman , the only girl i have ever loved.got me thinking like if my life was a string timeline which small event can i call the "nail pin"  a small event that lead to a series of bigger more life impacting events .... and i pin point it all down to the day my khaleesi believed me when i asked her to believe in me and ever since i think subconsciously all i do is juts me tryna show her that i can and me being scared of disappointing her.so +back to the topic+ 7/7/2012 the day Jamal was born can be the next "nail pin" in my life and i have made it my mission to make sure the series of events that will follow henceforth will be successes coz now i gotta leave something behind when i die, not only for my lil man but his mother and all that might follow.... AND FAILURE IS NEVER AN OPTION 
#thoughtsofapredicatehustler

MY IDEA OF A GOOD HIP HOP TEE DESIGN COMPETITION

This is just from happening but imma right about it like its tomorrow morning because I won’t have the time to type this tomorrow morning….ya dig?

So I was at home mad kushed, tired from work, as my khaleesi was studying. It’s like 08:03 and she’s informs me she forgot to tell me to get spaghetti when getting ndiyo(I really hate saying relish) so I get up mad walk out the crib with my head phones blaring hip hop and thinking about some of the freshest t-shirt designs   I’ve seen. And then mobb deep’s-it’s mine ft nas plays and its cold out , the winds blowing, loud music, tee design and I think …..SNAP!!!!if I could draw or design clothes I would sketch up a design for a couple of mics shaped kind of like sperms swimming  on the front , just maybe 2 or 3,most preferably on a red tee , with the words ‘HIP HOP BIRTHED ME” on the back. I mean I was few minutes ago and just by listening to some hip hop songs not even more than 4 and I calmed down???? That’s how much art can influence our daily interactions with people. Have you ever not liked someone for no logical reason until you have the same taste in something and you can relate and now you feel like a jerk …well back to the topic I have much love for the hip hop culture and hip hop / rap music , so all I have been through in life I had music to help me through it also the transformation I have made into the man  am today I owe a lot to the “lesson” and “ideologies” but most importantly means of expressing myself                                                  “HIP HOP BIRTHED ME”.

Now I can’t draw for shit even though it’s the one thing I know would have made my dad proud , because  he was so artistic and really so into the arts, to me  he was inspirational. So to not be able to draw what I can visualize, that if I had money, this would be my perfect way to expose up and coming, fresh, young artists and designers.

But what do I know I’m just high #thoughtsofapredicatehustler

365: A YEAR LATER

Iwe you not dying anytime soon…. (Quietly in the back of my head telling myself, I hope he can’t tell…..)We have so much to talk about. These are some of the awkward moments I had with you brah. But you where always 2 steps ahead of me. example you gave me that colored sketch portrait that dad had made for mum and said,” Leroy I haven’t got place to put this up but you can do the right thing with this picture”. guess where I put it…in the sitting room just by the entrance so that all the people I LET into my house know that we were born of angel blood .I miss telling you about my problems and you happy that I was a wuss around you because size apart, you was big bro and yes I have the battle scars to prove that fact(although I still don’t know what we were fighting or competing over).the situ is like this, me and sibeso still going strong. When I hooked up with her you were skeptical about us and all these years peeps thought you was hating….nah nigga I knew what you was doing. You wanted me to realize she was of good caliber and that I couldn’t be relaxed or average about that so you kept on my toes. “I like sibeso because she’s the only girl I’ve see grow up, actually GROW UP.” Never will forget the day you accepted my wifey, future mother of my child/dren (yeah she HEAVILY Prego right now) and the girl who tamed the lion. Your last few months were the hardest times of my life ever, because I always thought you where gonna live forever, forever ever, FOREVER EVER!!!(Yeah they haven’t released an album yet) but I remember you saying “you have it figured out?”Nah nigga without you I am lost mi blood. I still cry myself to sleep, my workmates couldn’t see but I kept crying on your birthday, feverish from anguish, disappointment and pain. I have failed to be the best bro to mpande, best son to the parents and after all is said and done I haven’t been the best younger bro….no song ,verse, poem  shit I don’t even rep your name the way I think I shoulda been. but then again  you left big shoes to fill and maybe the whole stepping up to the batter of being the oldest Banda man of our generation ( gramps passed on too so ba robe Mr. Banda snr than uncle musman Mr. Banda so iam now Mr. B jr).but iam still a movie, music, art, sports comic, general knowledge buff and you’re the one person who actually liked the fact that I am a nerd. Me and Rodney closer now after you left but the whole crew kindly grew apart and so I’m back to being the old , quiet , reserved Leroy and without your outgoing personality that always lit up a room, am back to having not many friends. can talk all day and all night bout how much I miss ya and how things have changed but the truth of the matter and the main reason for writing this is to tell you that……no more. No more weakness on my part no more Childs play no more effing around. All my life, all the time we spent together, all the fighting and advice and pushing and urging every last convo we had was you preparing me for the world as a man and the past 365 day made me realize that you made me who iam today and I’ll never forget that or let my kids grow up without knowing that their uncle was beyond a star he was LUKASTAR my big brother.  And I can finally show the world what you wanted of me….to be whatever I want to be….

IN MEMORY OF MY BROTHER LUKAS (I.M.O.M.B.L) 15  MAY/1985 – 17 MAY/2011 (THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL)

THE BEEG REPORT

OK by now you obviously heard of the scandal currently rocking the nation involving one of the biggest companies around, one of the biggest promotions ever and on IT guy.
mtn Zambia's BEEG promo was hot, from the ads , to the hype surrounding it i mean even i bought a new sim to be a part of the dream of winning a cool one Billie. people joined that promo like crazy and when the winner was announced, like any other competition in zed, we all did the usual....forgot bout it all and moved on....or did we?
it was recently brought to light that a named IT guy from MTN did the coolest thing (from a fellow IT guys perspective that is) in zed in a while, he manipulated the system and made his girlfriend win the prize. now i say coolest because all fellow IT guys will agree with me when i say , in our free time all we ever do is think of how cool,it will be to do some cyber mayhem and pull of an electronic heist worthy of a movie or book plot (swordfish was based on a "true life hacker"). i mean getting his squeeze to win , go on a ka mini trip to celebrate the whole thing ( spending at least 80 mill on the outing....#BEEG) , purchasing property in other peoples names etc etc. but where did it all go wrong??? the perfect plan needs patience , a tight circle and most importantly to be PERFECT. we are all old enough to know nothing is perfect so the least you can do when you plan something like this is to be diabolical.the spending spree was too soon, then he was sloppy, and i say that because as an employee of mtn and IT guy for that matter visiting the competition winner is unacceptable.plus n****s are nosy and "vigilante" when they suspect something fishy and due to a "concerned citizen" (ahem whistle blower, snitch, informant,shushushu etc) their not so perfect plan was caught onto and you know why.... because as long as you commit a crime and you involve someone else...its not the perfect plan. word of advice always to your wrongs alone, in secret ,in silence and most importantly discreetly. your dumb ass out there celebrating and you think no one is watching,NO ONE IS WATCHING N****A?!?!? that's what people do man, the streets is always watching. sit your ass down, do a ka low profile for 6  months request a transfer ( because stopping graft is to suspicious),  start a small medium sized consultancy and then quit. by then when you start buying shit it will look legitimate . and to top it all of what does MTN zambia do #SMH they say "we are gonna rerun the grand draw"..... *ahem* the same grand draw that obviously can be manipulated with your same staff, because he was so sooooo good no one else in his department saw any irregularities .....? he either a really smart , dumb dude hacker fimo fimo or his subordinates are really not worthy of being employed for MTN  or are in on it....?MTN i tip my hat to you, i mean it takes balls to tell people who already didn't believe in your competitions in the first place, who recently just heard of what your IT department is capable of that your gonna re do this....?picture this lets say we re do the general elections and MMD win this time, would the nation believe the results...........? didnt think so.